Not much to say here, as I think the comic nails it right on the head. The only thing I would add, is that my experience of verbal sexual harassment has never really been as extreme. It’s the “Hey, Mami” and “God bless you” and “That’s niiiiiice” and etc. etc. etc. ad infinitum. And it’s just as damaging and rage producing and not an unchangeable part of living as a non-cisgendered male.

To the harassers out there who haven’t stretched their human empathy to the person they are assaulting, what makes you think that’s okay?

Rape Crisis Advocate!

The Violence Intervention and Treatment Program at WHMC is the only hospital-based rape crisis volunteer advocate program in Brooklyn. If you are interested in receiving specialized training and providing much needed services as part of a dynamic and rapidly growing program, please join us!

Become a NY Certified Rape Crisis Advocate
Borough – Staten Island

Program Description

VOLUNTEERS attend a 40-hour comprehensive training starting Fall 2010 revolving around numerous aspects of sexual assault.  Upon completion, volunteers become advocates who respond to pages from local hospital emergency departments when a rape has occurred.

Responsibilities:
The following services are provided, but not limited to:

• · Immediate emotional support for survivors and secondary survivors
• · An explanation of medical procedures
• · Attendance during the medical exam and the collection for the Forensic Evidence Kit
• · Act as a liaison and advocate with hospital staff and criminal justice personnel on behalf of the survivor
• · Information and referrals, including follow-up care with the Rape Crisis Program
• · Provide clothing, undergarments, personal hygiene articles, and transportation.
• · Bimonthly supervision and training in order to

Qualifications:

• ·Application and interview required
• ·Volunteers must be 18 or over
• ·Volunteers must have access to adequate

Transportation in order to respond in a timely fashion- Must live on Staten Island

• ·Must Attend a comprehensive 40-hour training

Location:
Staten Island Community Programs
30 Bay Street , 5^th Floor
Staten Island, NY 10301

Volunteer Hours:
Shifts: Sunday-Thursday 5 PM-9 AM or
Friday and Saturdays 5PM- 5PM (24 hours shifts)

Length of Assignment:
A year long commitment is required however, a longer commitment is preferred

How to Apply for this Position:
For application and interviewing process contact
Amy Edelstein
Staten Island Community Programs
30 Bay Street
5th Floor
Staten Island, NY 10301
Tel.: 718-720-2591 EXT. 17
Fax: 718-442-2913
E-mail: Aedelstein@safehorizon.org

Violence against women in video games is a sadly popular trend, the most repulsive example being the Japanese “game” Rape Lay, in which the player can simulate groping, then raping schoolgirls until they’re in so much pain they weep, “I want to die.” Once the girl has been completely degraded and violated, you can choose to snap a trophy pic or keep virtually raping her until she shuts up.

Rape Lay is the most grotesque example, but even mainstream games like Grand Theft Auto feature characters who have sex with, then brutally rob and murder, sex workers. Charming. Who wouldn’t want Santa to slip that under their nephew’s Christmas tree?

So in a way, Hey Baby, a new video game where the main character is a woman gunning down the men who pop up and harass her on the street, seems like fair play. Anyone who’s ever had her ass grabbed or “nice titties” whispered in her ear during her morning commute or walk to the store, has fantasized about—if not murdering—certainly smacking her tormentor upside the head.

Anyone who’s been on the receiving end of such unwanted attentions will attest that not only is the initial fear, disgust and revulsion extremely visceral, but that the resulting effects—jumpiness, mistrust, and anxiety—stick around long after the incident. In fact, Project Envision’s research showed that verbal street harassment was cited by Williamsburg Brooklyn residents as the #1 form of sexual violence they encounter.

While most of us don’t believe in an eye for an eye (or an eye for a “hey baby, let’s fuck”), the game is an interesting social experiment—but only if the right people watch it. In reviewing the game for the New York Times, Seth Schiesel writes, “I doubt any noninteractive art form could have given me as visceral an appreciation for what many women go through as part of their day-to-day lives. Just as I have never been sexually harassed, I have never accosted a strange woman on the street. After playing Hey Baby, I’m certainly not about to start.”

-Guest Contributor Judy

I believe in looking inward when I look outward. Meaning, when I look at the problems of another country, I challenge myself to examine my own. Notice the log in your own eye if you want to discuss the sawdust in another’s.*

How do we dismiss sexual assault? In white America, one way is the teeth-grinding, rage-inducing excuse, “Boys will be boys.” Those four words have such power: they release the offender from being responsible for his actions, and they completely disempower and silence the abused girl or woman. It’s a get-out-of-jail-free card and duct tape over the mouth in four words, one of which is used twice!

If a boy grabs my ass, “Boys will be boys.”
If a boy grabs my tits, “Boys will be boys.”
If a boy catcalls me, “Boys will be boys.”

Within the anti-sexual violence movement (and any discussion around healthy sexuality), the idea of consent is very central. Speaking from my experience growing up in the American South (specifically Texas), starting at consent is starting a few steps ahead of myself. I have been silenced; I have had my voice taken away; I have lost my ability to consent. The culture of dismissal of girls and women’s accusations of harassment sexual violence, whether my own or another person’s, are part of that silencing. I have had to take many years and many more to come to rediscover my voice and my consent. I know I am not alone.

On the other side of this phrase are the boys. Boys will not always be boys. Boys will be men. What kind of men are we creating when teach them that they are excused from the responsibility of their own actions? When we don’t take the time to talk to them or model for them what behaviors are “okay”? When we show them that women’s voices mean nothing?

We can do better. To change our human culture, we cannot be complicit. Sexual violence is inexcusable, from the playground to the warground. And we are all part of (re)creating our culture, one of respect, equality and joy.
–

–
Crossposted at creatingcarrie,

First, risk reduction as a panacea is merely preemptive victim blaming. It is born out of our rape culture (See this post from Melissa McEwan for more). It says, “If you follow steps a, b, c, d, e, f, … z raised to the 1,000,000th power, you should be fine. Pay no attention to the contradictions within the rules!” It is disempowering to everyone. Those of us categorized into the victim circle of the Venn Diagram are unable to follow all of the safety rules by design and are left to live in fear of attack and be blamed if an attack occurs. Those categorized into the attacker circle are denied their own empathy and humanity and seen as irrational, hormonal beings unable to control their animal drives and looking for instant gratification. What this means is that if you don’t have control over an attack, you must control your behavior. If do have control over an attack, you can’t control your behavior. Everyone loses. Self-policing as prevention does not work.

Second is increasing police involvement, which is a trickier subject for me to navigate, but I am going to stumble through this.

I started writing this post because of this article (I was going to write a totally different post, but this is the one that came out). The police force is part of the rape culture (as we all are). How can they be counted on as a safety/prevention strategy when they are enmeshed in the problem? The police are agents of the kyriarchy and not of the people. As a middle-class, white, cisgendered, passing woman with a cop for an uncle, I’ve been raised to seek out the authorities. As a gay woman, I learned to fear them. As someone working to prevent sexual violence in a racially mixed community, I do not count them as an asset because of their historic bigotry in how they do their jobs.

Yet, I don’t want to discount them. I think they could be assets if and when their racism is acknowledged followed by work to change. But even then they are not agents of prevention. What would a preventative police force beholden to community members look like? How would their job descriptions be different?

My first thought is that they wouldn’t have guns. Power would not equal force, and so those forceful displays of power would be gone. They would be community members, definitely. After that, I don’t know. What I can imagine are regular community meetings with the local police force. Moving accountability back into the neighborhood. A conversation where both sides discuss their concerns/grievances/issues/successes. Through these discussions, the police can become part of the goal of preventing and ending sexual violence and making the neighborhood a safe place for everyone to live.

Hollaback has been working on the grassroots level to end street harassment. Women and LGBTQ people send in their stories with pictures of the harassers. The personal is political, and these stories are powerful. Currently, they are fundraising to upgrade their work. They need to raise $12,500 by May 28th in order to fund the creation of an iPhone app. Hollabacking will then be possible through 3 portals: the site (which is being revamped), the app and the text form. From the campaign page:

The Hollaback! 2.0 platform transforms girls, women and LGBTQ individuals into open-source activists with the touch of a button. Participants can submit photos and experiences of harassment through three easy portals: a) the Hollaback! mobile app, b) a text form, and c) directly to the Hollaback! website, which will also be accessible to other smartphone users through their mobile browsers, and will link to our dynamic mapping system. We’ll track street harassment through data points to quantify and communicate its impact to legislators. The Hollaback! app creates a safe, action-oriented response to street harassment, and with powerful reporting features, it will finally put a face on everyday harassment and assault. By using data to establish the case against street harassment, Hollaback!’s social change efforts will ultimately result in significant improvements in policy and a reduction in crimes against girls, women and LGBTQ individuals.

So get over to Kickstarter, make a donation, and start hollabacking. The deadline is May 28th, and that date will arrive faster than you think. Together we can end sexual violence.

Donation page: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/hollaback/hollaback